The Green Wellie Guide – Graham Nown

Description

The Green Wellie Test

Does your dog give tongue – or simply cheek?
Can you call your in-laws a couple of Old Berks without the need to lower your voice?
Have you heard the phrase ‘cock left’ more times at a pheasant shoot than at your tailor’s?
Does the sight of a tweedy grockle make you want to plant a custard?
Have you ever pulled the chain in a duke’s bathroom and been mugged by a Victorian cistern?
Is a Husky your constant winter bedpartner?
Do you whisper ‘yurt, yurt, yurt’ in the ear of your favourite bitch?
If you can answer ‘absolutely’ to any of the above, there is a strong chance you will already know some of the characters that appear within the pages of this book.
However, if you scored a resounding nil, do not despair.
With the help of The Green Wellie Guide, Grange Rovers everywhere will be fully equipped to cope with that mysterious and enduring institution: The Great British Country Weekend.
A word of warning: country weekends can be bad for your health.